May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
