I never want to see another naked old woman again.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
