My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
