I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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