omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
