Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
