Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
