i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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