Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I too understand the importance of cheesy bread

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before

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(516): View more from New York

Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.

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(269): View more from Michigan

all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird

(269): View more from Michigan

OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO

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(360): View more from Washington

DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!

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(+61): View more from Australia

I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet

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