Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize