Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
