i permit you to call me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
