marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
