Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
