So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
