Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
