i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
