ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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