I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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