question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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