i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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