somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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