Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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