If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
