we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
