We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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