I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
