My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
