is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
