i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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