i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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