In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize