If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
