trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
