She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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