I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
