I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
