Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
