fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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