1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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