need another drink. this is the easiest way
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
