I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I made him laugh his dick is mine
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
