are you still at the devil's house?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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