I'm going to jail i love you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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