Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
