I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
