Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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