why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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