The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
