If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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