how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize