Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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