A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
