He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
