she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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