Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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