I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
