Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
