he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize