This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize