I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
