i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
