I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Randomize
