I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
