Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
