I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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