so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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